i try not to let school get in the way of my education.

Will I be coming Back to Africa?

In a spiritual sense?

In a physical sense?

Why did I come Back?

I came because my body, mind, and spirit did not like what it was interacting with
in the United States. It needed peace. It needed comfort. Most importantly,
it needed to experience another reality, in order to assess if its previous lifestyle was the healthiest choice.

So much about the American lifestyle is sick. At least I know what makes me sick,
what dampens my spirit and traps my mind.

Materialism. This is different from comfort. There is nothing wrong with having what you need and maybe a little bit more sometimes. Having the things that make you happy. But when you begin to be defined by them, accumulate status by them, that is the problem. If I happen to have "things" that other people could see as "valuable," I want to count them as additional blessings to an internal wealth of health, love, and freedom.

Prejudice. A disconnect from Humanity. I needed to live in an all-Black country and see Black people running things, living ordinary lives. To deepen my ever-so-dwindling faith in humanity, curtailed by the prejudice I've experienced in the US. Of course, Ghana is shadowed by the US and all things West, and I never think I
will be able to or even want to escape Western influence. At the end of the day,
I lived in a Black country, on a Black continent.

Misinterpretation. I came into this world confident in my definition and place. I was educated by society to hate myself or not even exist. As a Black American, you will be isolated, insulted, or ignored entirely. This is the fate of the Diaspora in a racist society. Of course this had an effect on my self-definition. It has
been bounced here and there, ripped and turned and spun around so many times, so
that I could easily lose my way. So the time and connection to my ancestry here
has been key in my process of SELF-definition.

With all of the mixing and interlapping of humans in the modern day and age, it is a mistake to forget and lose the unique integrity, spirit, and tradition of a line of people. One's humanity is preserved through culture, as culture is an articulation
of the spirit of a people. We must not forget where we come from.

WOW

Two girls just left. Emma and Leigh. They got into that van with their bags and LEFT. This is WEIRD. I'm going back. In a week and a half. Where am I going back to? What am I going back to? I am in a state of limbo...Nothing makes sense right now. Home as a definition was already screwed up after I left Silver Spring for DC for Rockville for New York....now add Ghana and growing up to that. Who am I now? Where am I supposed to be? Where do I fit in in this crazy world of ours?

Growing up is TRIPPY. I feel like I can trace different parts of myself through time, space, and friends. All have shaped me, and yet I am just me at the end of the day. I am finding the Crystal that makes me happy, and that's what matters. But the process is a trip. If anything, I've learned that I am a global citizen, a member of the Diaspora, and a resident of the United States. I am a Black American, a half caste, an obruni, a Diasporan, a high yella chick, all of these things. No matter what others call me, they all are a way to name me, Crystal. At the end of the day, the only name that counts is Crystal. I love that name.

My mind is about to be blown in the next two weeks. I will have to keep blogging just o process the differences of being back in the States. It really feels like another world. As I told Emma, I feel like going back is like jumping in in double dutch, just jumping into the middle of all this rhythm and chaos and life that is moving fast whether you like it or not. Except I suck at double dutch and never really learned. So does that mean I'mma fail at this readjusting thing? I HAVE NO oOPTION BUT TO FIND OUT. ONLY 10 DAYS.

WHAT.THE.FUCK.

You dun make me fall in love........Ghana, I'm in love with you.

Katie Is Awesome Playlist:

No One Like You P-square
Could You Be Loved Bob Marley
Three Little Birds Bob Marley
Nwa Baby Flavour
Right Now Na Na Na Akon
Make Me Fall in Love D'banj
Angelina Praye


p.s. i can NOT listen to any ghanaian music for awhile when I'm back because I will CRY.

Kpanlogo!!

We are wrapping up the semester....exams, final performances, parties. Two weeks left. Can't believe it!!!

"Je bo je bwa nye me
Je bo see na mo mo
Kpangolo o daaa kpangolo!!"

It means "give it here, it wasn't me, give it here"

Love what I've learned this semester..whether it was from the professors is another story, but I've definitely grown.