My world is a little bit bigger. My heart has accepted some new people in. I love Kwame, Alex, Auntie Gina, Frank Asante and his British wife, and Griffin.
This weekend was our home stay. It took a long time on Friday to get there but after three hours we arrived in Spintex. I was trying to figure out the catch behind Griffin and I (two girls) staying with a single man (Frank), but soon found out. He has a British wife that he married less than a year ago. I think her name is Maureen. I will call her Maureen. The first thing Maureen said when we got out the van was, "Oh my goodness, white people!! I've missed you so much!" To this, Griffin points to me and says, "She's not white." Maureen replies, "Oh, well she's not ....Black, either." At this point in my life, I've learned to accept people's ignorance with grace and usually humor, but let's say we still didn't start off on the right foot. So THIS was my real Ghanaian homestay experience? lol.
However, like most of my life so far, I've been proven wrong on my own assumptions. Maureen came here with AFS on a Gap Year two years ago, and she is a delightful (if somewhat frazzled) woman. On Friday night, to begin our "Ghanaian" experience we had English tea and talked about being big ol obrunis in Ghana. Around the dinnertime I clarified my ethnicity and told them our roots come from Rwanda, and Frank then welcomed me to the Motherland. We then watched Norbit to more English tea and biscuits. LOL. God, you LOVE playing jokes on me, don't you? Anyway, their house is very nice.....Maureen runs a creche (daycare) during the week so there was a playground in the front, and very spacious rooms, etc. I could smell a strange dynamic the minute I walked in. Auntie Jina and her sons, Kwame and Alex, were hanging about the background....and I was scared to assume correctly that she was the help for this British woman. Thank God, she wasn't. Auntie Jina helps with the creche during the week. The situation is no less awkward, however. She lives in an unfinished unfurnished skeleton of a house that a Londoner 'lets' her stay in while they are away....while the Asantes live in a wonderfully furnished, beautifully painted house. The extremes are crazy, especially when they live right next door to each other. Anyway, how does one treat such a situation? When I was younger and around such extremes in my own life, I was frustrated and angry at the lack of money that parts of my family had. I wanted revenge on the world....I could see this cynicism and slight embarassment in Kwame. Which made me love him even more. He is such a smart, caring son and there is nothing more frustrating than to see how he cares for his mother and how little she has. Reminds me of me.
So Saturday we woke up early and went to the Spintex market....where a lady assaulted me with her snails. These mofos were huuuuge and slimy and sticking straight out the shells, coming at me. I was NOT happy. She shoved them right in my face as a joke, which everyone except me thought was hilarious. After the market, which would have been nice except for that, we left for Medina to visit a friend of the Asantes.
It took three hours by tro tro to get to Medina (which really should be a 30 minute drive....but thats Ghana). The family was wonderful and totally worth it. We met David and the other family that initially hosted Maureen when she first came to Ghana. I love the family life here. It makes me miss my family, and want my own. The purpose of the event was that Frank's Best friend Reggie was coming to ask the mother's permission to marry her daughter. What I loved about this was that he sat the mother and the brother-in-laws down and formally asked if they would let him in their family. Of course, the formality is a joke and they all have been planning the wedding forever, but I still love that the respect of the family is so valued here. We had a great meal (although Griffin didnt like the fish....lol) and a great time. I love families. It made me think of how I really want to have my wedding the respectable way. A marriage is more than two people combining. It's two families. (Love you Ellis)
This morning, we woke up early and went to church and the International Action Center in Spintex. Aside from the African accents, I could've been in church at home in Harlem. The gospel music is so soothing to me, it makes me think of Mom, family, home, warmth, God, all of the things that I love. The pastor was talking about faith. How we are all stewards of the life, time, talents, possessions, and money that God gives us, and how he rewards those who are firm in their faith. God will entrust riches to those who prove committed to the little he has given them. All life, no matter how large or small, is valuable. This sermon came at a right time, because I have been questioning if my career path is important and if I'm doing this for me or for someone else. Everyday, I feel God telling me that this is what I'm meant to do....I'm meant to use the talents he GAVE me to serve him. If I follow God's word, I can't go wrong. I feel safer with every day that I grow closer to him. On a sidenote, the pastor said some hilariously blunt things like, "For the singles event, make yourself as desirable as possible and come ready to introduce." Also regarding February birthdays, "do not DARE to exit the sanctuary if it is not your month." (for bday cake)....lol.
We came back home from church (got a ride from a random Ghanaian who was parked outside the sign "THOU SHALT NOT PARK" and who wanted to marry us), and helped Maureen prepare lunch. I love cooking!!! We made a spinach and chicken stew, plaintains, and yam. yummmm. with red wine. (btw im addicted to english tea and bread now....) Griffin and I also went to Auntie Jina's house to make fufu. We pounded fufu like pros, j/k. But it was a really cool experience and I have too much respect for Auntie Jina. That woman can handle a knife. Pounding the fufu (which is a mixture of yam and cassaba) was too fun and made me think of the German documentary from J. Collins' class where the guy is stressing how white people have no rhythm and do not know how to incorporate it into their daily lives....lol. Aside from making (and eating) a second meal, we talked with Auntie Jina and her sons Alex, Kwame,and....20 year old? forget his name. Auntie Jina wanted us to send her an invitation to come to the US, but then said that she wouldn't have the money to come anyway. I am beyond being sad about the inequal opportunities within the US versus abroad, but meeting and loving these people with my own eyes just digs it in...I have people to attach to the international phenomenom of poverty and I'm trying to grasp the all too familiar feelings of frustration and righteous anger from my youth. Auntie Jina could be my mother. In fact, she is my mother, just in another part of the world. And she does not have electricity, plumbing, or walls. Her sons live in shame because they fear that we judge them for what they do not have. If they only knew how much I want to give them everything. And I do not have much of anything myself....EXCEPT opportunity. Opportunity is a blessing. I will never fully come to terms with how blessed I am. I might not have all the money I could need or want, but I live in a country where I can fight for the chance to use OTHER people's money and fufill my dreams. How lucky. Kwame deserves it as much as me. But he was born in Ghana.
Lord, you do everything for a reason. To teach us certain lessons about life and about each other and how to be grateful for what we have. I am soo grateful for what you have given me, and grow in appreciation each day. Lord, teach me to understand the world's inequity and how you want me to make a difference. My world is so much bigger now. My world IS the world, and the people in it.
It's funny how they view Barack Obama. I have a deeper appreciation for what he means to the international community. He is not just my hope, but everyone's hope.
It is also funny how the 20 year old wants to come to America and be a "nigger." He imitated US rappers and then called them the "badmen" who shoot and kill. I don't want to write an essay on the perception of American blacks, but I had to go there.
Kwame came to visit me this past Friday (a week later), and I know he is a spirit. Sometimes God puts people in my life just to ask a question: "So what does Crystal do when she is hungry? What does Crystal do when she gets angry?" Totally out of the blue this question comes. Something about how he said it makes me really want to examine it deeper....
No matter what points I bring up or reflect about, no matter how much more complicated I get, I also fall in love with the Earth a little bit more.
